This is the next post in my series on how a Las Vegas father can effectively manage holidays while sharing custody of a child. My last post explained why it is important to discuss holiday plans with your child prior to any major events. In this post I will be explaining why it may be necessary to put ground rules in place with family members who may be seeing the child.
If a father has gone through a bad divorce or breakup then it is natural for their family members to defend them and be on their side. It is not unusual for the family to have a great deal of anger towards the children’s mother. It may, however, be necessary for a father to ask the family to refrain from expressing their feelings in front of the children. It can cause anger, discomfort, and confusion when family members make snide, rude, or even frustrated comments regarding a child’s mother. Many times this is not the family’s intention. It can, however, be difficult for them to see the children’s mother outside of their own perspective. It is the duty of the father to set both a good example and ground rules for the family.
Las Vegas fathers should contact family members privately, prior to any large family event, if he believes this will be an issue. It is helpful to explain that the children love their mother and for the sake of amicable relations and shared custody it is important for family not to make negative comments. The father may urge family members to avoid topics of child custody, divorce, or the child’s mother altogether. A father may thank family members for their concern and reiterate that his request is for the benefit of the children. If a father wishes to discuss his private feelings regarding a shared custody situation then he may wish to schedule a time in private to talk with family members. This time should be after after the children have gone to bed or during an adults only dinner.
It can be frustrating for everyone to avoid talking about what may be perceived as the elephant in the room. However, if a father can get family to agree to his boundaries, attending family events will be far more comfortable for the children.